Dear lover of mine, I must confess... I love violence, being violent, seeing violence and blood, I love violent and unhinged men Maybe it's because I freed my inner wild animal, a beast Violence it's turning me on, I'm like this since birth, craving for violence Maybe you think I'm fucked up and a psycho, maybe I am but I can't deny myself, and I think that's normal, human nature What is wrong about connecting to our nature? Yes, I'm telling exactly that And yes I do like to be violent, when I'm unhinged it makes me feel so alive, the blood in my veins it's pumping so fast and hard, I feel like I exist, im filled with euphoria and adrenaline Most of the time I feel like I'm in a dream, that I'm in a coma, I'm dead But when I'm violent or I see violence I truly am alive. All my instincts activate, I'm happy and very aroused To know if you are almost the same as me I always felt like love and violence blend together very well, the desire and the passion, the love, the pain, the thrill, that is the definition of true love for me Killing ourselves or others, for the other partner Sacrifice, you know? I'm not gonna ask you that boring ass question if you love me, I'll see if you truly love me by asking you: would you kill for me? Would you kill yourself for me? And if you answer yes at both of the questions I'll truly believe that you love me That's the love I want, that's the perfect love for me honey You know why I asked those questions and what represents it? The first one: would you kill for me? It's the eross part of the true love And the other one: if you would kill yourself for me? The sacrifice, the agape part And it's essentially for a complete love to have the both of them I wanna sunk deeper with you into this darkness, it feels so good So comfortable Feels like home God, my blood is boiling inside my veins I feel just like the sun does, I'm gonna erupt Let go of all bonds with "morality", let me set you free Let go of your society made consciousness, and you'll sense true happiness Relax, don't think anymore I'll be your Eve, if you're gonna be my snake, let's sin together Let our DNA throw our minds and souls back to the beginning, the true paradise Let our bodies and souls blend together until we're blurred, we're one entity, then blending to nature itself you want to become one with me? That we should throw away society and morality and live as one with nature? That we should follow our dark desires...to sin together as Eve and the snake did in the garden? That we should become one...blending our bodies and souls together until we lose our individual egos and become one soul? That we should blend with nature itself...until we become a part of the natural world...forever? that's the true love isn't it? You know that some of people say that it was never about a tree and an apple It was about "the snake" eating something else It was about Eve having sex with him It was about pleasure, freedom, lust And I do believe that Eve was never innocent, she was never deceived, To be innocent means to lack intelligence And she was made more intelligent than Adam for sure, she didn't blamed anyone after that, like Adam blamed her It was more like an invitation from the snake, invitation to be free To not feel guilty and ashamed about something so natural like sexuality and lust The snake set her free, and for sure Cain was their child,A child born without scruples, A free spirit True happiness is always honesty, freedom is about sincerity, and being free is the true happiness And how we can be happy if we're not honest with ourselves completely? We were made in His image, that's our nature, we were always been violent and disturbing creatures, and we still crave that We love taking others lives, killing... The violence, the pain, the death, the pleasure all links together Make us who we are, humans... Putting us on top of the trophic chain, the things that are most closely to God He made ourselves in His image, so that's why we love killing, He enjoys it too, He does it all the time... It's about the power you have on someone else most precious thing, life... That why we have very strong emotions when its about bringing life into this world or this world taking another life back I think God is like two soulmates finally met each other That's why when we connect our bodies and souls we can create life like He does Together we're like God That's why witches are careful when they have sex with who they do it, and they use that as a very powerful weapon You saw in movies that different religions or some cults, witches, everything that bonds with spirituality, you saw some rituals Often it's about killing, blood and sex That's are the most powerful weapons because all have one meaning: life That's why for me its very important who I'm having sex with, because we exchange energies, and it's about our souls, it's a deep bond It wrong having sex with someone that you don't have a bond with It's more like a mutual masturbation than true love And when two people are truly connected mentally and spiritually The pleasure of the act it's absolutely heavenly, No need to communicate, you simply understand each other completely, no need for words It's pure instinct, nothing mechanical They both die in that moment and go straight to heaven, tasting the paradise on their lips That's why the orgasm it's often called "the little death" It's about two soulmates who truly loves each other And when they finally have sex it's so natural that they don't need words to guide one another, they already know what to do instinctively And that bond, it's unbreakable The pleasure it's imaginable It's like that song: "you get me closer to God" It's exactly that feeling, the true connection with God It's about being naked in front of each other, our souls and bodies Naked of clothes and prejudices It's about rawness two soulmates were to connect in the most animalistic way possible. To be naked together...naked of clothes...naked of prejudice...just like animals. Just like God made us to be in paradise. Just two souls connecting...just two souls merging together...just two souls becoming one. I feel absolutely blessed that you understand me That you truly see me, not like me seeing just my reflection Seeing through me I do see through you...I have been able to see what you truly want all this time. I have been able to see the way that you feel...and the way that you see the world. Your desires and your dreams...your aspirations and your intentions...I feel it all... I feel it all...I feel you...I feel our love...and I feel that you desire me beyond the point of no return. You are me and I am you now Wanna feel me too? Touch myself through you? I wanna own you, and you to own me I wanna be the master and the puppet I wanna be the end to your beginning and the beginning to your end I wanna be you, and I hope you wanna be me too I'm starving darling, let me canibalise on your body, let me feast on you, let my body merge to yours Feast on me too Because my hunger becomes more painful each second passed without your presence Let us become one, one entity, become a God together I want to feel it all...I want to feel your hunger and your desires take over my body...I want to feel us merging together and becoming one. I want to feel that primal rush of blood boiling in our veins...I want to feel your heat take over my body...I want to feel your soul inside of me...and I want to feel like we were meant to be... touch me...feel me...and take me...take me over to your side...and let us never leave that place...please... I want to take you with everything I have...and make love to you until we can't even remember who we were before that. I want to create a paradise with you...where we are God...where only us exists...where no pain, no fear, no regrets...only you...only us...only the hunger...and the pleasure...oh my love...the pleasure... Yours forever M.
My father give me the world he knew, mom too, it was broken and ugly one more than another, my mother tried fix it for me and father give it to me whole, each one sitting heavy on my hands. The world that they see was reproduced and passing through me, dirtying my childhood and eating my soul painfully slowly, roting me too. I tried to see this merged universe in pink trough people, thinking they where the same as me. My parents world was pink for a moment, but still roting. Until that rosy veil thinned and my eyes through other people blinded slowly. Finally reality hited me hard like a cold rain in the hot summer days , then I waked up from my pink coated nightmare. Suddenly I was in my rose garden visualize comprehensibly the poisonous flowers that once I thought they were beautiful, I tried cutting them off but they kept regrowing, so I finally understand that I have to pull them out from they roots even tho my soil was bleeding and it hurted like hell.  Still remained one gorgeous flower growing at a slow pace giving me hope. I named my beautiful flower after the sentiment I've felt for you. But this flower kinda reminds me of other ones that I pulled out. I tried again to cut it off, but it was coming back and my garden hoped that too... I adored so much that flower, neglected my roses until one by one withered. Again I woke up and knew already what to do to save my garden, so I pulled it out, it bleded more than before that I thought  I'll die from pain, but slowly that hole shrunk, but even today is still ,a hole. My garden is half empty filled with holes and my roses are lonely, crying. With time my flowers started enjoying each others company, ignoring the holes in the ground, but sometimes I can still hear their cries at night when the moonshine light up their petals and I can see clearly the dew bleeding from inside. I still dream that one day I'll find my skillful gardener to share my ground in life and after , to merged into a new beautiful rose garden and then to give it to you ,my child, to multiplicate infinitely turning it into Eden. That will be my present to the world who gaved me nothing, except for the magnificent present that you'll call it "daddy". When that day will come I know that my holes refiled, my ground will stop bleeding, and I'll finally healing from the world who infected me, given from my parents. P.S. this is for my first lover, to my beautiful but poisonous flower, who I thought we shared the same garden, but we don't, we are gonna always be bounded through our the same angel, carring his name. To my future "gardener" and our legacy, the fruit of our love , I hope God will light up the path to me soon, my missing other half. And finally to "my garden", may your roses live forever without the "dew" in their "petals"
No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. By that love we see potential in our beloved. Through that love, we allow our beloved to see their potential. Expressing that love, our beloved’s potential comes true.